Solitude – My saviour — January 26, 2016

Solitude – My saviour

Man is a social animal. He covets companionship. He desires the support of his fellow human being. He craves attention. He dislikes being alone or even the concept of solitude terrorizes him. They relate solitude with sadness and  melancholy. These people forget one elementary rule of life. They forget that, we entered this world alone and we’ll leave this world alone. One by one we will go. Not hand in hand, not in a congregation but all alone taking different paths.
The peace you find abhorrent, the silence you dislike, the stillness you hate, I dwell in. This is what I yearn for everyday, every moment of my life. This is my escape from the chaos I deal with every single day of my life.
When I am alone, I can contemplate the magnitude of the disaster that hit me. I can assess the course I can take to tackle it. When I am alone, I know I can think right without being judged or criticised at. No one needs a 24/7 reminder of the flaws and imperfections you with hold.
When I am alone, I am just alone. I’m not being anti social or depriving myself of any joys of life. Solitude makes me happy. Solitude is my saviour.

اب جس طرف سے گزر جاے کارواں
ویرانیاں تو  میری دل میں اتر گئں

THE ROAR OF THE WORD — January 5, 2016


What did he and his followers do to deserve such a bigoted demise?
Who did he offend to such an extent that his life was robbed from him? What was his reprehensible crime that it became inevitable to hang him along with his 46 followers?
Nimr Baqir al-Nimr was a shia sheikh in al-Awamiyah in Saudi Arabia’s Eastern  province who was executed on 2nd January 2016.
He was arrested on 8 July 2012, and later on 15 October 2014, he was sentenced to death by the Specialised Criminal Court (non-shariah court) for raising his voice against the tyrannical Saudi regime.
“The head of the State Security Service admitted this to me in person. He said to me when I was arrested, All you Shittes should be killed”. That is their logic” excerpt from a Friday sermon delivered by Al-Nimr
How do you win against such barbaric logic?
Nimr was a fearless Shia cleric who raised his voice against the violent, unjust, and prejudiced Saudi reign.  Al-Nimr supported the freedom of religion and equality for Shia minority in Saudi Arabia.
He gave up his life for the honor of the Saudi Arabian Shia. His views were articulate and he was a famous figure among the young generation. He influenced, directed and nourished the minds of Shitte population in Saudi Arabia. He guided them, and advised them to use the roar of the words instead of violence in order to regain their dignity. He also threatened secession if the Government did not change its ways. According to Al-Nimr,

“Our dignity is more precious than the unity of this land.”

The Saudi Government proved how deep their hatred against Shitte community is. They proved how barbaric, bigoted and undemocratic their sovereignty is.
They proved that Al-Nimr was not protesting without a reason, there was a truth to his sermons which was not well digested by the Kingdom.
It was not the execution of a Shia cleric but of freedom of expression, and civil rights.

Unjust Silence — June 11, 2015

Unjust Silence

With such thoughtlessness (negligence) we go through our lives. Our boring, monotonous, and purpose less lives. We spend our entire day unaware and unaffected by the events taking place on the outside. Outside of our confined, detached and walled off lives. Either we are unaware of the outside world or we just don’t care about anything but our filthy(venal) and selfish selves.

We are too lazy, too depressed, too dead inside to do something to bring a change on the outside. We are no less than zombies. Our lives are meaningless, without motivation, without any drive. We are glued to our conservative approaches and lifestyles. We detest change and we oppose any force that yearns it. So we just wake up, go to work/school/college/university, spend our day chatting, eating, sleeping, bathing, shopping, and end up sleeping. That’s how we spend our entire year. Our entire life. We don’t raise our voices against violence, injustice, terrorism, extremism, or anything else as a matter of fact. We do however, complain. We complain about the government, the army, the U.N. and the other states. We don’t come out of our homes. We don’t protest. We don’t try to change ourselves. We protect ourselves. We enclose ourselves in tiny (infinitesimal) shells, so that no harm shall come. But it’s a wishful thinking, a flight of the imagination, that we will not be harmed. We could be next you know. What’s happening in Iraq could happen to us next. We could be the ones under the blade. We could be the ones who are enslaved, raped, slaughtered, and burnt alive. Do you want to be next in line? Maybe what’s happening to Rohingyans will happen to us. Maybe some fanatical Buddhist starts a movement here and initiates our annihilation. Butcher us like animals. Stab us, cut us, shoot us, and burn us to the ground. Kill thousands of innocent citizens, but we aren’t innocent. Are we?  We keep our silence when voices should be raised. We keep our distance from the matters that actually need gallantry. We are cowards. We talk a lot but is there anyone out there who would raise his voice to eliminate this scourge of terrorism/extremism.

What do u say? It’s none of your business? How is it not? Aren’t they your brothers?  Aren’t they belonging to the same Ummah as you? Don’t they believe in One God as you do? Don’t they pray in mosques like you do? Aren’t they humans just like you? They are from us and we are from them. We are one Ummah. It’s our duty to fight for them. But how will we fight for them when we couldn’t even save ourselves from this plague causing obliteration. How can we save anyone when we are ourselves drowned in extremism, overwhelmed by terrorism, and sickened by the ignorant? Tell me exactly how genocide of 141+ students could not have changed your life? How it could’ve let you sleep soundly at nights? Tell me how can you bear a clear conscience when within your realm 141 innocent souls were murdered ruthlessly? Speak up. Raise your voice. Tell me how you can sleep tonight? Because just a few days back 41 people were shot dead in a bus. How are you silent still? Doesn’t it ache? Doesn’t it hurt like hell? How can you just pretend like nothing happened? Are you even human? Do something NOW, because history repeats itself but this time it’ll be you under their blades, on the bus, or in the school with a gun to your head. Be prepared.



We live in the age of ignorance. The era, where men use their intellectual and physical prowess to rape women, and commit murders. The lawyers work their asses off to defend these men and the court declares them “not guilty” in the light of all the evidences. The age, where murderers and, the rapists are allowed to roam freely without facing any consequences for their crimes.

I am hania, and I am writing this incident with all the courage I could summon after a decade of silence. I was six years old when I was traumatized. My father died in 2005, after which my mother went into her “iddat” period. She allowed my sister and her husband to keep me for a few days. My sister hesitated, saying I would not feel comfortable at her house, maybe because she knew what awaited me there. Her husband Kashif was very persuasive and so my mother allowed me to stay with them.

As I arrived to their home, Kashif asked me to drink a malodorous fluid. It made me somnolent and I felt dizzy soon after consuming the drink, but I was still aware of my surroundings. I saw Kashif struck my sister with a wooden chair while she agonized in pain. He forced me into the room and locked after him. He stripped me and tied my hands tightly. I was flabbergasted and cried hysterically but he continued his sin without responding to my pleads. He forcefully raped me and caused me excruciating pain. I bled, I screamed and I cried while he raped me. Once he attained the orgasm, he untied me. I was in a state of semi consciousness, but the pain was real. I was screaming in agitation so he forced a knife into my eye and gouged it out. I failed to tolerate the pain and fainted.

I was locked in a room where he used to rape me followed by my sister who cleaned the mess and fed me. This went on for a week or so, sometimes he raped me three times a day. Two weeks later my mother arrived and was horrified by my condition, she immediately took me for a check-up. They told my mother that I had been subjected to sexual abuse and my uterus has been completely damaged. She filed an FIR against Kashif and my sister filed for divorce. In the judgment, the court cited that the prosecution was not able to prove the accused guilty of having perpetrated the offence, since I was unable to identify Kashif who had a beard but came clean-shaved in the court. They let my rapist go.

I live with the prospects of never getting married and starting my own family due to the fact that I cannot conceive children and have a false eye. On the other hand, the man who is responsible for my afflictions roam freely. This world is a bitter place. Here the guilty is defended and the oppressed is harassed and tormented. These men- the rapists and the murderers- live among us. They face no charges, no consequences and no punishment for their heinous sins. They do not care whose uterus they are penetrating as long as they achieve their orgasms. For them a child of three and a woman of seventy are the same. To them we are just “walking holes” for their pleasure.

But remember there will come a day when you will face Allah Almighty. On that day, I will see you burn in the deepest trenches of inferno In-sha-Allah. I will get my justice and you will get yours. You can go away with your vulgar activities in here but your gimmicks won’t work on Allah.

Finally, for those who blame women for provoking men by dressing inappropriately and being out late at night, tell me exactly how could I have provoked my brother-in-law who raped me when I was just six years old at my sister’s house while she watched?

Note: this is based on a true incident occurred in 2005 in Karachi, the victim’s age was in reality 3 years old.